Mr. Mom continued…

Posted: February 7, 2008 in Random

Most people would agree that finding the right balance for most things in life is healthy. Working out is good for your health, but too much breaks down your muscles to the point where they are not growing or very healthy. Developing a relationship by being around the same person all the time can lead to frustration and then to anger. I have noticed that women from Florida to Texas tend to cope with the pressures of being home all day and having conversations like…say “Da, da,” or “I want to see poop in the potty,” in various ways. They may make a playdate with a neighbor, join a supper club, or hangout with other ladies at the coffee shop till all hours of the night (my wife likes that).

As a Dad who has spent more then a couple days at home with my boy all day long, I know that fun can quickly turn into a chore. The endless hours of giving your undivided attention causes you to long for the little guy to take a nap, call random people just to talk, and/or resent the fact that your spouse was able to be out with grown ups all day long.

My point is that everyone needs balance in their life. The stay at home mom needs to feel appreciated and valued, but also protected…even from herself. If they don’t have breaks, healthy adult relationships, and opportunities to make a general contribution to society outside of their home, they can easily get burned out and resentful.

From my male perspective, what hurts most women’s mental health and overall demeanor is that they don’t feel like they should do both. Both as in work with adults and stay at home with kids. Some women even add additional stress by home schooling their kids. I don’t believe any women who chooses to do all of those things is wrong, but it seems like something that quickly spirals out of control.

I am happy to watch Micah so Carrie can go to the gym or hangout with her friends (unless they are male). I am even more happy to watch him, so she can work a few hours two evenings a week, to help her make a deposit to her own sanity. My recommendation isn’t for every stay at home mom to get a job. It is to give yourself a break. Take a break and feel good about it. A part-time job, volunteering at your kid’s school, or joining a gym or club might just cure what ails you.

I could be wrong…

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